Rosanne Bostonian

May 16, 2021

Raising the Mother

Mother and son.

This blog is being written on Mother’s Day, but it won’t be posted until after, but that’s ok.  The point is to reflect, and this reflection may be more appropriate after the heartfelt cards, the Edible Arrangements and the flowers are enjoyed on the actual day.

As someone who has had a career in psychology, the role of the mother has been revisited many, many times. The notion that the mother raises us is common knowledge. Her strengths are celebrated, and her foibles are blamed for much of our suffering. The idea that there are gaps in her legacy can either evoke blame or it can spur forgiveness.

Although the mother raises the child, the child clearly raises the mother. The physical act of sharing her body for nine months and sharing her heart for subsequent years, means that she has to transcend herself as an individual and give way to a higher purpose.

The Romance

The romance of being a mother evolves into a spiritual journey of sacrifice and self-awareness. To be unaware of oneself is to unconsciously let unfinished business through to the vulnerable next generation. The profound love for the child can break through the resistance in the mother to her gaps in consciousness.  She can resent her child for doing so, or she can surrender to the true meaning of mothering.

The meaning of mothering that raises the mother recognizes the true identity of her child and nurtures it. To do so, the mother has to understand her own authenticity and step out of her conditioned mind.  The introspection needed to accomplish this can only take place through great love. We all tend to hold on to our existing beliefs and dismiss any that contradict them. We want to right.

To be open-hearted and fresh in the moment, not dragging old messages into the “now” is the ultimate loving grace.  Removing obstacles in our conditioning allows freedom to be ourselves and allows others to be themselves.

As the mother steps out of her conditioned need to be right, she is raised.

With love, Rosanne

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